今天早上在电梯间里,看到小朋友哼唧唧抱怨不想上学。看她哭泣泣的模样,突然忘掉自己上次哭是在什么时候了。
小孩子可以哇地一声哭出来,用眼泪表达不满意。但是在成年人的世界里,肆意哭是一件不体面的事情。就像乱丢垃圾、随地吐痰一样,在公众场合倾洒过量的感情,这是一件破坏社会功德的可耻行为,不被鼓励。因为在大家眼里,哭代表了软弱、认输,情绪不稳定,还解决不了问题,打乱了成人社会努力支撑起的平静状态。
即使情绪已经澎湃,崩溃悬于一线,内心世界就像是一个快到阈值的定时炸弹,差点点火星就能点燃。但是成人还是要继续脸部表情维安,哭,要小心谨微;哭,要学会阅读空气,注意场合和时间。
张爱玲早早看清了成人的心酸:“笑,全世界便与你同声笑;哭,你便独自哭。”然后,大家兜住了眼泪,忍着忍着,就忘掉自己还有一项让自己舒服点的基本能力。
但是那个鬼马的全联福利中心不这样想,它在FB里po出88页广告,催你落泪:为什么要压抑自己呀,想哭就哭,哭才是治愈自己的良药。
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全联这番广告从孤独社会、租房压力、工作焦虑、家庭关系、再谈到烂尾剧……它精准地捏到了压在成人世界崩溃情绪的最后一根稻草,用87张海报,一层层推倒你内心的马其顿防线。在这样连环逼泪招数之下,再体面的成年人也会丢盔弃甲。一想到被客户否定的方案,想到支付宝里捉襟见肘的余额,想到多年之前因为高考落后的那一分,导致后面和同辈的人生差之千里,恨不得立刻回家找个角落,摊开手脚躺下,准备哭个三四天再走出家门。
当你忍不住要嚎啕大哭的时候,全联随即亮出品牌抖机灵的促销口号,「现在哭,最省钱」。其模样,特别像是一位故意惹哭女生的淘气高中生,一边告诉你哭有利于身心健康,多关心下情绪。一边又贱兮兮地说,「哭出来的人有福了,哭不出来的人哭哭了,卫生纸面纸特价中」,逻辑顺理成章。只是看完之后,让人想到自己已经这么不要面子放肆哭,还是不小心掉进了广告的促销圈套,不知是哭还是要笑。
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实际上,全联做卫生纸广告自成一种风格,很擅长使用神转折剧情。全联曾发过一张「常见事物相克解读图」,列举过期牛奶导致肠胃炎、雾霾来袭以致鼻子过敏、失恋33天造成泪眼等情景,最后以「卫生纸,解百毒!」来宣传全联的卫生纸联合促销活动。
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还有一年的卫生纸促销广告中,全联搬来了道教文化,列举了N个让洁癖症尖叫的脏东西(手指头一碰电器就坏的3c杀手,包包里自动松开的超油护手霜,挂在客户鼻孔里面的超长鼻屎等)。
在弄脏你的眼睛后,全联又在最后祭出一招必杀技脏东西退散符咒—— 「人手一纸,脏东西到此为止」,punchline满分,还一本正经补充道「为了挥别卡卡人生,小编研究各界咒语,到深山请仙师祈福,耗时七天七夜精工,铭刻于人类文明的驱脏成就-卫生纸」,「全联卫生纸大特价,有买有保庇!驱污净身、多重功效、实惠价格,小小一纸,让您的一生受用无穷~」
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不论是“逼你哭”、“解毒妙招”,还是“脏东西退散符”,捋一下这3个卫生纸广告,我们就不难看出全联卫生纸促销的戏精套路了。罗列看似不相关的问题场景,最后将所有解题答案都落在了一张正在促销的卫生纸上,再推动大家前去全联买纸。在意外的地方出现熟悉的东西,这种新鲜的连接,就会产生让人忍不住拍大腿的惊喜感。